The only reason I play golf is to bug my wife.
She thinks I’m having fun.
The weather is beautiful so why not come out play nine or eighteen. Tee times available both Saturday and Sunday and you have two ways to reserve your spot. Book online at our website or call us at the clubhouse 330-335-3375.
It was a sunny Saturday morning, a little before 8 a.m., I was on the first hole at The Oaks of St. George Golf Club and beginning my pre-shot routine, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker:
“Would the gentleman on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!”
I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.
Again the announcement: “Would the man on the woman’s tee kindly back up to the men’s tee.”
I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more, the voice yelled, “Would the man on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee.
please?!?!”
I finally stopped, turned around, cupped my hands and shouted back: “Would the jerk with the microphone please keep quiet and let me play my second shot!”
Lee and Gary head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, Lee turns to Gary and says, “What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for five bucks?” Gary agrees, and they start their rounds.
It’s a great game, and the two lifelong friends reach the No. 9 tee box with Gary ahead by one stroke. After Lee hits a great drive, right down the middle, Gary steps up and promptly hooks a ball into deep rough and trees.
“C’mon,” Gary says to Lee, “help me find my ball. I’ll look in this patch of trees, and you look around over there.”
They look and look and look, but no ball can be found. The five-minute time limit on searching for lost balls is about to run out. Gary gets desperate. He gives a quick glance over to Lee to see if he is looking, then swiftly reaches into his pocket and drops a new ball into the rough.
“Found my ball!” Gary shouts out triumphantly.
Lee looks at his friend with great disappointment. “After all the years we’ve been friends,” Lee says, “you’d cheat me at golf for a measly five bucks?”
“What do you mean cheat?” Gary asks indignantly. “I found my ball sitting right here!”
Lee lets out a heavy sigh. “And you’d lie to me, too? All for a tiny little sum of money? You’d cheat me and lie to me, for what? For five bucks? I can’t believe you’d stoop so low.”
“Well what makes you so sure I’m cheating and lying, anyway?” Gary asks.
“Because,” Lee replies, “I’ve been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!”
The forecast for today and Friday looks great. How about a round of golf.
Mornings – 18 holes w/cart $21 and 9 holes w/cart or 9 holes w/cart for $15
Afternoons – 18 holes w/cart $30 and 9 holes w/cart for $17.50
Make a tee time online at pinevalleyohio.com or give us a call 330-335-3375
Dear Abby,
I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with “the girls” a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”
I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with “the girls”.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?
Signed,
Perplexed
For most of the round the golfer had argued with his caddy about club selection, but the caddy always prevailed.
Finally on the 17th hole, a 185-yard par three into the wind, the caddy handed the golfer a 4-wood and the golfer reacted.
“I think it’s a 3-iron,” said the golfer.
“No, sir it’s a 4-wood,” said the caddy.
“Nope, it’s definitely a 3-iron.”
So the golfer set up, took the 3-iron back slowly, and struck the ball perfectly. It tore through the wind, hit softly on the front of the green, and rolled up two feet short of the pin.
“See,” said the caddy. “I told you it wasn’t enough club.”
If you have been trying to reach us by phone, we are open but our phone line is down. Hopefully it will be fixed today. If you would like to make a tee time you can go to our website pinevalleyohio.com and book it or call me on my cell phone 330-205-8120.
Thanks,
Steve Combs, General Manager
Dorlon Golf Club in Columbia Station is the latest public golf course to close their doors. after 49 years on Saturday. This makes what we are doing here at Pine Valley such a labor of love. Michael and Lisa didn’t want to see Pine Valley go the way of Dorlon, or Skyland or Astrohurst. The mission here at Pine Valley is to return it to it’s glory days and make it a fantastic public golf course and all though we have gotten off to a bumpy start we will reach that goal. If you or someone you know has played at Dorlon and needs a new home golf course please make sure you share this post and any of our post with them. If you know someone who was in a league at Dorlon give them our information, we would love to host their league. 
Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off when one of them noticed his partner had just the one golf ball.
“Don’t you have at least one other golf ball?”, he asked.
The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.
“Are you sure?”, the friend persisted. “What happens if you lose that ball?”
The other guy replied: “This is a very special golf ball. I won’t lose it so I don’t need another one.”
“Well,” the friend asked, “what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?”
“That’s okay,” he replied, “this special golf ball floats. I’ll be able to retrieve it.”
“Well, what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?”
The other guy replied, “That’s okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I’ll be able to get it back – no problem.”
Exasperated, the friend asks: “Okay. Let’s say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?”
“No problem,” says the other guy, “you see, this ball is fluorescent. I’ll be able to see it in the dark.”
Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks: “Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?”
The other guy replies: “I found it.”