Drowning your sorrows
After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th.
He looked at his caddie and said, “I’ve played so badly all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.”
The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, “I’m not sure you could keep your head down that long.”
Read more at https://www.golf-monthly.co.uk/features/the-game/20-best-golf-jokes-90683#VMDbsdAOHXo16iJF.99
| T1 | -6 | 4:00 pm | 13 | 51 | 38 | |||
| T1 | -6 | 4:00 pm | 14 | 52 | 38 | ||||
| T3 | -5 | 13 | -7 | — | — | — |
| T3 | -5 | 3:50 pm | 26 | 32 | 6 | ||||
| T3 | -5 | 3:50 pm | T19 | 22 | 3 | ||||
World’s worst
A golfer was having a terrible round – 20-over par for the front nine with scores of balls lost in water or rough. When his caddie then coughed as he steadied himself over a 12-inch putt on the 10th, he lost it.
“You’ve got to be the worst caddie in the world!” he yelled.
“I doubt it,” replied the caddie, dead-pan. “That would be too much of a coincidence.”
Read more at https://www.golf-monthly.co.uk/features/the-game/20-best-golf-jokes-90683#AtQDbPXeDYhV4Gjb.99
We found markers for each hole except #5 and with the help of Lisa’s Uncle Joe we were able to create one and now all 18 holes have markers. 
|
OUND 2
STATUS OF PLAY: IN PROGRESS
|
|||||||||||
| CARD | POS | CTRY | PLAYER NAME | TODAY | THRU | TO PAR | R1 | R2 | R3 | R4 | TOTAL SCORE |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
July 19-22, 2018
Kevin KisnerTony Finau
Zander LombardErik van RooyenRyan MooreBrandon StoneMark of respect
Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes.
“That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world.”
“Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. “I was married to her for 35 years.”
Read more at https://www.golf-monthly.co.uk/features/the-game/20-best-golf-jokes-90683#glFcUeUYQYWEdUqY.99
Want to get a round in before the weekend?
The weather is beautiful and Pine Valley is ready for you to come and play. Today and Friday morning enjoy our weekday special of $21 for 18 holes with a cart. Still openings for the afternoon. There are a couple of women’s leagues this afternoon between 4 and 5 pm but after that up till 6:45 you can get out and get in 9 holes.
Don’t forget our hot dog and kielbasa combo specials and we also have plenty of cold drinks on hand.
CARNOUSTIE, Scotland – Good morning, golf fans. Here’s a quick look at Thursday’s early developments in the first round of The Open Championship at Carnoustie:
KISNER ON FIRE: Kevin Kisner, making his fourth career start in the Open, was the tournament leader at noon local time. The two-time PGA TOUR winner kick-started his round with an eagle at the par-5 sixth, then made three consecutive birdies on his back nine to finish with a 5-under 66. In Kisner’s 13 major appearances, his lone top-10 finish is a T-7 at last year’s PGA Championship.
CANTLAY CONTENDING: Patrick Cantlay, making his Open Championship debut, was 3 under through 17. The 26-year-old Cantlay broke through with his first PGA TOUR win last year, winning in a playoff at the Shriners Hospitals for Children Open.
VEGAS ARRIVES: Jhonattan Vegas, battling visa issues and having difficulties with his travel schedule, did arrive in time to make his tee time. Vegas flew into Glasgow, then took a helicopter to Carnoustie in time to warm up on the range. He was 1 over through six holes.
NOT EXACTLY CAR-NASTY: Generally regarded as the toughest course in the Open rota, Carnoustie’s dry conditions and lack of wind allowed those with early tee times to get off to fast starts. South African Erik van Rooyen, who played collegiately at the University of Minnesota, was in the second group out and shot a 4-under 67. One of his playing partners, Matthew Southgate, also played well, shooting 69. Danny Willet was in the next group and shot 69.
“I think they’ve done a great job of tucking the flags in a few spots to make it as difficult as possible,” said Willett, the 2016 Masters champ. “I think they realized the golf course is pretty gettable for some of the guys out there.”
SPEAKING OF SOUTHGATE: The Englishman is a member of Carnoustie, and was asked after his round if this week has lived up to his expectations. “Yeah, it has,” he replied. “I think, when I first arrived, I was a little disappointed. I think I built it up too much in my mind from the age of 10. A couple of things that you saw play through in your imagination, where you sort of saw things happen, and it unsettles me when things don’t quite go that way.
“For one thing, I always have this sort of vision in my head the little old Scottish fellow would meet me at the front door and call you ‘Mr. Southgate’ and you would feel all excited and stuff. It wasn’t. It was a young American girl sort of flashy, ‘Let me show you around.’ And I thought, I don’t really need showing round. I’ve been a member since I was 16. It kind of threw me a little bit.
“Once I went in the clubhouse and met a couple of members, I settled down. And even more so when I got on the golf course, and the first round has lived up to everything.”
SPIETH STARTS STRONG: Defending champion Jordan Spieth birdied two of his first four holes and was 2 under through eight.
RAHM’S BIG DRIVE: Jon Rahm managed to drive the green at the par-4 third hole, which is playing at 352 yards in the first round. That set up his first birdie of the day. The Spaniard was 2 under through seven.
TIGER IN THE AFTERNOON: Tiger Woods, playing in his first Open since 2015, is among the notable names with late-afternoon tee times. Woods tees off at 3:21 p.m. (10:21 a.m. ET) with Hideki Matsuyama and Russell Knox, the Scottish native who currently lives in Florida. Others with afternoon tee times include current FedExCup leader Dustin Johnson, U.S. Open champ Brooks Koepka, Jason Day and Bubba Watson, who has won three times on TOUR this season.
EDITORS’ CHOICE: GEAR & GADGETSApril 3, 2018
Golf bags used to be so easy to understand—it was a cart or carry bag, and that was pretty much it. Today, there are a number of sub-categories designed to address the needs of pretty much any golfer. One thing our 13 Editors’ Choice bags (spread over six categories) have in common, however, is practicality for the segment of golfer they were intended for.
Callaway’s 2018 version of its Hyper-Lite Zero and Sun Mountain’s new 2.5+ shared the top spot in Lightweight/Ultra-lightweight, each weighing less than three pounds. Lightweight yet durable fabrics and a carbon-fiber stand system lighten the load on the Callaway bag. The 2.5+ borrows from its 2Five predecessor and adds updates such as shoulder straps with high-density, contoured foam; a full-size, zippered ball pocket; a beverage pouch; and higher-grade fabric.
Our top choices in Carry bags are updated versions of Ping’s Hoofer and Ogio’s Cirrus. Each is similar in weight or lighter than Sun Mountain’s 4.5LS Supercharged, but the extra weight in the Sun Mountain bag is understandable because it’s outfitted to charge up to two electronic devices such as a phone, the first carry bag to have this feature.
For those preferring to ride, Sun Mountain’s updated C-130 Supercharged cart bag has the same phone-charging feature. Hybrid bags, as the name suggests, have attributes appealing to more than one audience. Callaway’s Fusion 14 weighs just 5.7 pounds—an accomplishment in a bag with 14-way dividers and 12 well-positioned pockets, including a magnetic valuables pocket. The Datrek bag has the company’s Top-Lok Technology, a patented bag-to-cart attachment system designed to securely lock the bag onto most pushcarts.
Of course, some golfers want a throwback bag—a small, single-strap bag without a stand that’s perfect when hoofing it for a few holes while not taking up too much room in the trunk of the car, which is why Jones’ Golf Utility Rover bag caught our eye.
One of golfers’ pet peeves are bags that soak in moisture, so we added a sub-category, Waterproof. Keeping the wetness away best was this foursome of bags: Callaway’s Hyper Dry cart bag, Ping’s Hoofer Monsoon carry bag, Sun Mountain’s H2NO Lite carry bag and Titleist’s 4UP StaDry bag. Like we said, not so easy to understand anymore.
